Be the Responsive Child Our Parents Need
Family Rules #1:1
When our parents call us, we should answer them right away.
Be the responsive child our parents need. It's important to be responsive when our parents call us. They likely have something important to say or need our help with something. So, it's best to answer them as soon as possible and show them that we value their communication.
We do what our parents ask. Do household chores as responsible members of the family as we live in the house, We should always try to help out wherever we can and make sure that the house remains organized and tidy, the food is prepaired. And of course, we should also make sure to listen to our parents and do what they ask of us to the best of our abilities. It's all about showing respect and appreciation for everything they do for us.
Listen to Your Parents
Family Rules #1:2
When they tell us to do something, we should do it promptly.
When they tell us to do something, we should do it promptly.
Be a Good Listener
Family Rules #1:3
When our parents instruct us, we should listen respectfully.
Ineffective listening habits present the most common barriers to success in relationships and careers.
Like any other people, our parents like to know they are being heard and that their ideas are appreciated. By being a good listener, you let your parents know that you value them and what they have to say.
Politeness decrees that you must listen to be kind; intelligence decrees that you must listen to learn.
Respect for Parental Authority
Family Rules #1:4
When they scold us, we should sincerely accept what they say.
When they scold us, we should sincerely accept what they say.
Empathize with Your Parents' needs
Family Rules #1:5
We should make sure that our parents are warm in the winter and cool in the summer.
This is physical care. “If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that” (James 2:15-16)
To our parents, we should make sure they are comfortable in every single way. We provide what they need.
People who don’t help those in need show that their faith may be dead, as James again writes that “faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead” (James 2:17).
Be Nurturing
Family Rules #1:6
We should make sure that our parents are cool in the summer.
We should make sure that our parents are cool in the summer.
Greeting in the Morning
Family Rules #1:7
In the morning, we should greet them and show them that we care.
It’s easy to let bad manners take over when in the comfort of our home, but those who share the roof are the very ones we need to be the nicest to. Be the person you need to be with these tips:
Greet your family #1.7 & #1.8
Greeting family members in the mornings #1.7 and evenings and saying good night #1.8 may be one of the simplest things to overlook in the home. It is very important to say these at all times as a sign of respect, warmth and affection.
Good Night
Family Rules #1:8
At night, we should make sure that they are resting comfortably.
Exhibit good manners at home See #1.7
Tell Your Parents Where You Are Going Before Leaving
Family Rules #1:9
Before going out, we should let our parents know.
Before going out, we should let our parents know.
Keep Parents Informed
Family Rules #1:10
When we return, we should tell them that we are back.
When we return, we should tell them that we are back.
Follow a Predictable Routine
Family Rules #1:11
We should lead a routine life,
The Importance of Routines
Familiar activities can provide comfort for both parents and children during challenging and uncertain times. Just like children, parents feel more confident and secure when their children's daily activities are predictable and familiar. A consistent daily schedule and step-by-step routines give your family a predictable day:
• Feel in control of their environment
• Feel safe, secure, and comfortable
• Know what is happening now and what comes next
• Know how to do an activity or task
• Engage in learning
Building Structure 立规矩
Keep Your Words
Family Rules #1:12
and we should not be constantly changing our mind in whatever we do.
and we should not be constantly changing our mind in whatever we do.
Ask for Permission
Family Rules #1:13
Even when a matter is trivial, we should not act without permission or just do as we please. If we do so, then we are no longer a dutiful child.
Even when a matter is trivial, we should not act without permission or just do as we please. If we do so, then we are no longer a dutiful child.
Be Honest
Family Rules #1:14
We should not hide any possession, no matter how small, from our parents. If we do, they will feel hurt.
We should not hide any possession, no matter how small, from our parents. If we do, they will feel hurt.
Be a Giver
Family Rules #1:15
When something pleases our parents [and is proper], we should try our best to provide it for them.
When something pleases our parents [and is proper], we should try our best to provide it for them.
Parents would not tell you what they "need" or "want", but if we care about them, we observe them and we know what make them happy.
If you’re lucky enough like us to still have your parents in your life — do something with them that will make them happy. It’s a shame to take them for granted.
• Provide for our parents, not something as a gift
Last weekend, I took my dad out to supper and then to see truTV’s Impractical Jokers: Santiago Sent Us tour starring The Tenderloins at the Weidner Center in Green Bay. That was his Father’s Day and birthday present combined. Any time there’s a new episode, my dad laughs so hard his eyes water as he slaps his leg. He texts my uncle John, who actually introduced us to the comedy group, during new episodes and they joke about the show. And I know everything about the conversation on my dad’s end because once upon a time he discovered voice text. When I found out The Tenderloins were coming to Green Bay, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to take my dad to a show I know he would enjoy.
• Spending time with our parents
We should be focusing on spending time with our parents doing something they’ll love. If he likes fishing, go fishing with him. If he likes going to the batting cages, take him to the batting cages. Anything you can do to spend time with your parents is better than anything you can wrap in a box and slap a bow on. Unless of course, you wrap yourself in a box, pop out and hand him tickets to a show or a game.
• Bring on the laughs
• Give the gift of communication
• Work around their house
• Fix the bulb in their bathroom.
• Parents want what’s best for us
• We live our life to the best.
Be Empathy
Family Rules #1:16
When something displeases them, we should remove it.
When something displeases them, we should remove it.
Be Safe
Family Rules #1:17
If we injure ourselves, we will make our parents worry.
If we injure ourselves, we will make our parents worry.
Do the Right Thing
Family Rules #1:18
If we do something unvirtuous, they will feel ashamed.
If we do something unvirtuous, they will feel ashamed.
Be Rooted in Filial Love
Family Rules #1:19
When our parents love us, it is easy to be respectful and loving.
When our parents love us, it is easy to be respectful and loving.
Show Mercy to Our Parents
Family Rules #1:20
When they do not love us, respecting and loving them means we have a noble heart.
When they do not love us, respecting and loving them means we have a noble heart.
It is rare that a parent would not love her/his child. It goes against nature. There are two categories: real or perceived by the child but not real.
First, let's talk about "perceived by the child but not real"
1. When your parents do things that don't please you, it doesn't mean they don't love you. You should honor them.
When the Bible says that you should honour your father and mother, so that it may be well with you and you may live long (Eph 6:2-3), it is a very powerful promise that every wise child should invoke into his/her life. It did not say that you should honour them only when they do things that please you.
2. Too often, we don’t give them credit for what they do. We need to thank goodness for our parents. Without them we would not be even house broken.
3. No one shows more mercy than parents. We should be grateful because they gave us a roof over our head, food, and clothes even though that is the bare minimum for us to survive. They have to work hard to provide these things for us. Some people say "I didn’t ask to be born." Are you sure that was not your choice? Buddhists would tell you that it was your own choice to be born by your parents you chose. So showing mercy to your parents.
4. The sad fact is that one of the places we struggle the most to show mercy is at home. We are nice to strangers but hard on those who love us most. Does it bother you that often we treat our parents meaner than anyone else? We claim they don't love us, we claim we hate our parents. Is that real?
Second, when it does happen that your parents don't love you
You may think you are loving, but It’s hard to show mercy to your parents who are closest to us.
Here is a test to see how you are doing.
How Merciful Am I to My Parents?
When my parents gets some details wrong when they are telling a story, do I
(1) Interrupt them and correct them publically? or
(2) Say nothing and let it go, knowing I've done the same?
When My Spouse or Children Keeps making the same mistake over and over again, do I (1) become bitter and angry? (2) Graciously forgive them and pray for them?
When My Spouse or siblings are getting more attention than I think they deserve, do I (1) feel resentful and feel the need to bring them down a notch? or (2) celebrate with them?
When My Spouse or Children says something I don’t understand, do I (1) assume they have the best motivation for doing it? or (2) Question their motivation and think the worst?
Am I more polite with strangers than my own family?
How to Correct Our Parents
Family Rules #1:21
If our parents do something wrong, we should urge them to change. Do so with a kind expression and caring voice. Should our parents not accept our advice, try again when they are in a better mood. If they still do not listen, our sincere tears will show them how deeply we care. Should they get angry with us, do not hold it against them.
If our parents do something wrong, we should urge them to change. Do so with a kind expression and caring voice. Should our parents not accept our advice, try again when they are in a better mood. If they still do not listen, our sincere tears will show them how deeply we care. Should they get angry with us, do not hold it against them.
Children can correct their parents without being rude or ill-mannered. You ought to honour your parents. And one of the ways to honour your parents is not to get offended or gossip about them among your siblings and your relatives, when they err.
My parents sacrificed their sleep, their time and their money to raise me and send me to school. Why should I not remember all their labour of love, but instead dishonour them just because they shouted at me?
A father or mother can get angry with their adolescent, teenage or adult child/children. While, a child/adult child should not be angry to the point of not respecting the parents. Instead, look for moments when they are not stressed, tired or angry. Then, with all the respect you can muster, tell them how you feel. A statement like, “Dad, I’d feel happier if you stopped drinking” is more respectful than “Dad, your drinking is bad”. Say the truth in love and with respect.
Islam: praying to Allah for our parents to be forgiven and guided to the right path.
When Parents Need Nurturing
Family Rules #1:22
When our parents are ill, we should make sure that they take the right medicine. Care for them night and day, and do not leave them alone.
When our parents are ill, we should make sure that they take the right medicine. Care for them night and day, and do not leave them alone.
Grieving the Loss of a Parent
Family Rules #1:23
For three years after our parent’s passing, we should remember them in sadness. We should live simply and not adorn our home. Avoid merry-making, meat, and alcohol.
For three years after our parent’s passing, we should remember them in sadness. We should live simply and not adorn our home. Avoid merry-making, meat, and alcohol.
Grieving the loss of a parent is personal. There’s no “normal” path or timeline. Everyone deals with it in their own way. But grief and love are conjoined, you don't get one without the other. Tears shed for the loss of parents are a sign of a pure heart.
Grief is like the ocean, it comes in waves ebbing and flowing.
You don't go around grieving all the time, but the grief is still there and always will be.
The sand of time will never wash away the love that I have for you. Your sweet memory will remain forever in my heart.
Months after a parent passed away, you may back in your usual routine. You go to work and chat with friends. But little reminders can send you down a spiral of sadness. You may find a postcard your parent sent you at your desk and start bawling. The hardest part is knowing that you’ll never have a mother or a father again.
Even as an adult, the death of a parent is devastating.
You feel the most of your grief within the first 6 months after a loss. It’s normal to have a tough time for the first year. After then, you often accept your parent’s death and move on. But the grief may bubble up, especially on holidays, birthdays, death anniversaries and ancestor remembering ceremonies.
In Loving Memory of Our Parents
Family Rules #1:24
We should arrange our parent’s funeral in a proper manner. We should always honor them as if they were still alive and, especially on the anniversary of their death, remember them with a sincere heart.
We should arrange our parent’s funeral in a proper manner. We should always honor them as if they were still alive and, especially on the anniversary of their death, remember them with a sincere heart.
Obon is a reminder of our debt of gratitude to our ancestors.
Ancestor veneration in China 敬祖,祭祖
Refinery29: How to Venerate Your Ancestors Year-Round
Honoring Ancestors and Cultural Roots
https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2003-jul-12-me-religancestor12-story.html
Each July, many East Asian Buddhists in the Southland use somber rituals and festive events to memorialize those who have gone before.
The duty to pray for one’s parents if they are deceased. We should pray for our parents and feel the benefit of such worship with reward from Allah and higher ranking in one’s status.
Read More on islamonline: